NH Business Review Column: Building Deeper Relationships

“Leadership is not about you but it starts with you,“ observes Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn Ferry. A key place to start is building relationships with coworkers and colleagues that go deeper than the common “what is in it for me” perspective. The best leaders know they need to continuously invest significant time to build connections with those on their team, that this ongoing responsibility can never be taken lightly.  

Many relationships are transactional, observes author and consultant Rozelle Haydée White, helping us, “do something, get something, or learn something.” She adds: “So many relationships have an agenda.”

Of course, employees have tasks to complete, and supervisors need to communicate job responsibilities and expectations. But the most effective leaders go deeper, beyond the transactional, getting to know their employees and colleagues in meaningful ways that help create productive workplaces. 

Set aside time for conversations that go beyond day-to-day job tasks, embracing a spirit of authenticity and curiosity. I recommend that supervisors schedule formal meetings of 30-60 minutes with each employee at least once every month. Of course, work tasks will be a part of the discussion, but the conversation should also include the employee’s personal goals, values, and aspirations. Get to know employees as people and share about yourself.

I have written before about Steven Covey’s idea of listening to understand as opposed to listening to respond. In their book “What You Don’t Know About Listening Could Fill a Book,” Jon White and Alexandra Taketa argue that poor listening is a common cause of leadership ineffectiveness. Asking open-ended questions in the spirit of curiosity is the most important listening skill, they assert. These kinds of questions invite the other person to share more, facilitating meaningful conversations and building positive relationships. 

You can read my full column at https://read.nhbr.com/nh-business-review#2023/05/19/?article=4110428