My Latest NHBR Column: Paying Success Forward to Your Future Self

My son Ben earned a Ph.D. last year at the Colorado School of Mines, but they didn’t hold a ceremony until this year due to COVID. I thought board chair Tom Jorden’s speech was pretty powerful, including the advice to "Be deeply successful in a way that is personal for you." At least I thought it was brilliant until the newest Dr. Teschner pushed back: “My millennial generation has heard the ‘be yourself’ and ‘don't let other people define you’ message so often, that it's practically background noise.” He suggested an alternative paradigm: Pay it forward to your future self, asking if what you are doing is improving your life or not.

When I was a country director for Peace Corps in Ukraine and West Africa, I regularly engaged with the American Volunteers, mostly my son’s age, including a one-on-one meeting at the end of their two years of service. What they planned for the next phase of life was invariably a point of discussion. When I heard statements like,” I think it would be good for me to go to law or medical school or do X,” I would observe the tone of voice and body language. If I sensed hesitancy or lack of enthusiasm, I would share that observation and ask how they came to that conclusion.

Sadly, we sometimes let others define success rather than determining it for ourselves. Of course, figuring it out is not always easy, and it can be amazingly convenient to let someone else do the deciding. But that is not a pathway to a meaningful life. Are you following your own path or letting someone else define it for you? If the latter, will it foster meaningful growth and be worth it in the long run? Are the up-sides enough or the down-sides too much?

For more on this topic, you can read my full column in the July 16 edition of the New Hampshire Business Review.